July 2nd, 2008 at 5:57PM

8 hour drive with no cyanide!

I’m driving BACK to Michigan in about a half hour. Somebody shoot me. Eight hours in a little truck seems like 1 day spent in a closet. These eight hours are also terrible for my health for the following reasons: I get bored and smoke cigarettes, I drink terribly huge amounts of coffee, I drink Red Bull and smoke more cigarettes. The worst part about this is when I get home and because of said things, I CAN’T FALL ASLEEP! So, if someone wants to just kidnap me and do cool stuff for the weekend here in Chicago I’ll go ahead and phone-in a fake 911 call. Make it painless and have beer on hand. Ugh, here goes…

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